Vacation travel with the U.S. Army

"Theres going to be a two hour delay" the Sergeant First Class in charge of our group says. At this point were upacking our laptops to use the free Wi-Fi. Were still in Colorado Springs locked down at the airport its 4:00 PMish. 15 minutes later its time for a briefing. "Do good things out there men, survive and kill the enemey". 'Yeah roger...' I'm thinking afterward. Then we go to get on the plane, what the hell happened to two hour delay. I'm sitting near my buddy that we'll call 'Brian' on the plane. This guy recieved more in flight corrections then anyone I've ever seen. "Wake up put your seat belt on", "Adjust your weapon its facing the wrong way". It seemed that the onslaught of corrections by the stewarists went on forever for him. I promptly laughed my ass off at him and encouraged the corrects even more so. Its blatantly pissing him off, "screw off" he says. I only wake up on this 18 hour journey to eat and make fun of Brian. My sleeping 'aid' really did the trick.

Landing in Maine was the last place my cell phone worked. I buy the only Blackberry that doesn't work internationally. Now I'm pissed I even brought the damn thing. In maine we took aboard a bunch of Air Force people. One of my buddies is pointing out 'locations' we will fly through to get to Kuwait.... sure. He says we fly through Spain then to Madagascar. The airmen in questions eats it like he starving. While talking to my father on my phone I pause the conversation with him. "Did that guy really believe that s*&t or am I losing my mind?" I ask. "Nah he bought it bro!" We all laugh as if we are not going to war. The kind of laughter that makes your chest hurt, strangers stare and old people have strokes (if you laughed your an ass).

Nothing interesting to say about Germany. Pretty much nothing I can freely say on the internet. As with the other legs of our journey I only awake to make fun of my friend and eat. We land in Kuwait and the true hell starts. We depart the plane to buses. "Its an 8 hour bus ride to where were going". Sweet, I'm thinking to myself the rumor guy has begun his attack on the morale of the group. Since I have some rank of my chest this tour I promptly tell him to "Shut the f*#k up". He does and I feel I saved us the pain of this completely untrue rumor. We leave the buses just outside of the flight to use the latrine and smoke. There is a kick ass sand storm. For those who have never deployed they search through there things for there glasses. While doing that, there under shirts are affixed over nose and mouth. Those of us who have done this before act as if we can breathe in the sand filled air. This may be where civilization started but sand storms further my theory. I theorize that all the smart people walked as far as they could from the middle east. The rest that stayed were idiots and somehow are still alive today. Thus disproving Darwin and giving my theory a leg to stand on. It was also 90 degrees at night... its not even June and I'm sweating visibly in the wind. My back still itches at this momment from the sand.

The bus journey is hell because the Air Force took charge of it and took there time. Making sure they made it to there location first and screwing us horribly in the process. Imagine being overstacked in the Scooby Doo van with Shaggy at the wheel. Hitting every bump and rumble strip along the way during a 30 kph drive. We were on that bus for over 14 hours easily. We get to our destination finally after the sun had been up for 2 hours. At this point I've been traveling for 28 hours. While typing this post I've been awake almost 36 hours.

Got a haircut, in processed Kuwait and currently have no energy. I'm fighting sleep to return to a normal schedule. Those who value there sleep should not join the military. If working a 40 hour week is exhausting then stay the hell away. I'm done, off to stare at the MWR (Military Welfare and Recreation) TV. I'm drifting and having blurred vision right now. Oh yeah don't forget to drink water......