Jun 25, 2009

Oh where for out thou beer?

In my mind, europe is a magical land where you are free to do anything. Everything is socially acceptable and endorsed (ignored) by the government and law. I'm not talking in the sense of cross dressers and serial killers running amock. They aren't as prude as we Americans. For starters we don't allow our military to drink when deployed. The europeans wouldn't do anything if they couldn't drink.

A wise American will tell you that drinking in a war zone increases substantiated risk, creates carelessness and has unpredictable consequences. However that wise American is a complete tool and a fraud. He sits upon his cloud of morals and ethics and throws them down upon us like lighting. We the Americans take his abuse and happily change our laws and ways in his reign. My favorite thing about this omnient moral self proclaimed man is he garbage himself. He is probably cheating on his wife, doing cocaine or sifting money from a non-profit organization. Even if he isn't doing any of this what gives him the right to bestow his sense of right and wrong on the rest of us. Furthermore how is he any different then you and I.

The europeans happily walk to and from the shower trailors in there underwear. This applies to female and male. Americans put our t-shirt in shorts, even though in our own homes we do not do this. There comfort level baffles me, but I embrace it by doing the same. This is why plastic surgery does so well in America. We are not comfortable with ourselves and are extremely dependant on our image. The europeans are a little more loose and good for them.

I'm not saying its bad to be an American. I love our way of life, and I would happily burn nationalised medical care ideas created by our government. As I may love european women for there openess about sexuality. I also loathe them for the fear that they would never become a woman I could love for a life time. A single mans dream, a married mans curse. In the course of things we have small differences. All this to complain about not being able to drink in a war zone.

Its okay though, brown listerine bottles kick ass. If you don't know what that means think about it.

To the British, French, Dutch, Romanians, Candians, Egyptians (yeah them too), and other countries serving out here, thank you. You guys have cool stores on the air base for me to choose from. However you need to lower the freakin EURO!!!

Jun 22, 2009

Come fly with me

Flying in the military is like playing bingo. Lets get the scenairo going... there is nothing wrong with your computer screen. You are entering the military zone. You live in Balitmore, Maryland and you want to fly to Orlando, Florida on Tuesday December 9th. Instead of going online to all the cheapo ticket websites and buying this ticket, its free. Awesome you think to yourself. However everyone is flying for free on this plane too. Your ticket says SPACE A, you do not know what this means and do not care. As part of flying on this flight you have alot of heavy things you must bring with, but who cares its free.

You show up on that tuesday two hours early for your flight. We'll call your flight, flight #933. You wait in line at the desk, with those heavy containers you had to bring. "I'd like to check on flight #933". Someone who seems as if they have no clue what there doing begins flipping through binders, and checking a computer. "Have you been added to the manifest yet sir?" You are asked. You have no clue what the manifest is, so you ask. "Let me see your paperwork.... oh your SPACE A which means Space Availble so if we have an extra seat you can get on, if we don't then you will have to catch the next flight". To shorten the dialouge you will ask when the next flight is, no one knows. You will also ask about lodging, they will point you in the direction of a small tent city that sucks ass to live in. Finally you will ask if someone has a vehicle to help you with all that heavy stuff you have, they will not have anything.

You wait two hours and you hear an announcement. "Flight #933 is on a six hour delay for maintence". MOTHERF****** you think to yourself. You already had a low priority of riding on this flight, plus you have invested two hours and carried your bags miles. In this situation.... you wait longer. You mean mug the people who are going to there planes. You bitch with the people who are delayed. You talk about ways the military could make the flight system better. "If they just had set flight times and personnel counts... blah blah blah". You then vasque in your idea being the greatest while bashing other peoples ideas. You give up on that conversation. You lay on your bags and fall asleep. Waking up feverishly every five minutes thinking there calling your plane.

You wake up after laying on your bags for eight hours. Your back feels like midgets have been wrestling on it. Your left arm is awkwardly numb. You realieze you have been drooling and everyone just let it happen. Totally dehydrated but still have to urinate a dragon out. All the water in the immediate area is completely hot. The one refridgerator you do find, makes the water hotter then room temprature somehow. "Flight #933 is boarding.. Sergeant Rockwell, SPACE A passenger is good to board". REALLY!!! I'm on the plane *victory dance*. Your bags go on the pallet, and you jump in the plane. You have your body armor on and your ipod playing in your ear. Its really loud inside the plane. One of the airforce guys taps your on the shoulder. "WERE FULL YOU HAVE TO GET OFF" he yells over the noise of the plane. Some other guy stands at the bottom of the ramp waiting for you to move so he can take your seat. You give it up and walk down it. You didn't fly... you go schedule another flight and do it again till you finally fly.

MY DEPLOYMENT ADDRESS
Rockwell, William
TF 1-12 IN B CO.
COP Terminator
APO AE 09355

Thats right, the place I live is called COP ( Combat Outpost) Terminator. You might live in the ghetto or the hood, I live in the opium capitol of the world. Can't get more gangster then that.

Jun 19, 2009

What infantryman smell like

I spoke to some infantryman leaving Afghanistan from the Unit we are replacing. I spoke to them about things I couldn't say on here. Pretty much just finding out about the enemey situation.

There hair was long and untamed. Ears oily and blackheads growing on pours which had never been exposed to dirt. They smelled of CLP (Cleaning Lubricant and Protectant), which is the oil used to clean weapons. They had fire in there eyes and confidence about them. Eyes that haven't gazed upon a woman in a long time. Laughter as they spoke of shooting Taliban. The uniforms they wore were covered in a dirt sweat mixture of the hell they endured. Beauty to my eyes. These men fought a war and lived to tell the tale. I envy them, in a year I will be them once again.

Don't have alot of time... on the move! Get to the Choppa! <--- CLUE

Jun 15, 2009

You can't always get what you want...

...but if you try sometimes, you just might find... you get what you need.

The mouth of a sailor or manners of a saint as each were apprioate. Her own brand of 'Your Mama' jokes. Could see through me like an MRI. Called me on my bullshit and was only quiet when I was being honest. With a smile could change political affliations. A wince of the eye and she'd create another user of handicapped spaces. With the verbage of ten websters dictonaries. Only laughed at my jokes to suit her mood. The power to manipulate only used for her entertainment, never profit. Intimidated me every step of the way. Caused me to question myself. Running from her is like running from an earthquake, you can't.

Think whatever you want about that statement.

While playing volley ball in a pool I broke my KIA (Killed in action) bracelet for my buddy I lost on my first tour. So what did I do, I taped it up. I'm still rockin it almost four years later. My favorite saying in the Army "If 550 cord or 100 MPH tape can't fix it nothing can". (550 Cord is a very strong and small string like rope, 100 MPH is simply duct tape).

I was supposed to sing "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry at Karoke. They didn't have the song. That was pretty lame. I own cherry chap stick.

I get on a jet plane soon and go to war finally. Kuwait ends, war begins. The next post will kick ass I promise. I had zero to write about other then one person.

This post is dedicated to _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

"I would 500 miles and I would 500 more, just to be the man that walked that thousand miles to fall down at your door" - The proclaimers

I'm coming for you taliban...

Jun 5, 2009

Someone shoot at me please?

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR HUMOR PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT ATTEMPT ANYTHING IN THIS BLOG POSTING. I COMPLETELY DISAGREE WITH EXPLOITING PEOPLE FOR ENTERTAINNMENT PURPOSES.

Boredom is more than just a need for mental stimulation. The very instance of boredom can make individuals do things they wouldn't normally do. The first signs of extereme boredom are leaving your normal social comfort zone. Boredom has the same affect as alcohol, except it takes a longer period of time. Here is an example of alcohols affects on your inhibition.

When you first went to the bar you came with great intentions. I'm going to get her number and relieve some stress. As you drank more and more your inhibitions started to lower. As your inhibitions lower your intentions change. Now you want to have sex with her and kick the mouthy guys ass.

The course of the above example is over a very short period of time. My approximate average for this change in feelings is two hours. Boredom takes longer but has the same exact affects. Your inhibitions slowly disappear each day. Small layers of your "social safety-comfort barrier" begin to disappear.

Week 1
I'm in Kuwait, I'm going to do the right thing. I will wear my uniform, be respectful and follow basic Army rules.

Week 3
I'm in Kuwait, I'm going to do mostly the right thing. I will wear civilian clothes sometimes, be semi obnoxious and follow most basic Army rules.

Week 5
I'm in Candy land, I'm going to do my thing. I will wear civilian clothes always, be blatantly disrespectful to Non Combat Arms soldiers. I will follow create new Army rules to better suite project mayhem.

You can see where this example is leading. You can estimate by Week 15 to 21 Lord of the Flies Syndrome occurs. That is however for another discussion later in your lessons.
Now we understand there are different levels of boredom. How do I know what level of boredom someone is currently at? Everyone loses there comfort zones at different times. There is no singular rule for all humans. However you can test to see what level of boredom someone is at. First you must identify some things about the person. What are a couple of things, generally three, that would take away said boredom? You must however do this without asking the person whats making them bored. Usually just by someone showing up they volunteer the information.

You: Whats up man?
Bored Guy 1: Nothing, bored...
You: What are you doing?
Bored Guy 1: My video game system broke, I have nothing to do

So we have identified that our subject is bored. We have also identified the 'source' of boredom to be a broken video game system. There are many avenues of approach at this point. I will save the more complex avenues for later in your lessons. Right now lets focus on the phrase: 'Individual Boredom Exploitation'. IBE is a self explanatory term. Individual is one, boredom is being without stimulation and exploitation is to take advantage of. By choosing the IBE approach we have two approaches. You can take more history on the individuals reasons for boredom. This however only applies in the least explanative cases. This may make you bored, peoples reasons for being bored just plain suck. You can begin the best part, exploitation!

Me: Maybe you should treat your stuff better
Bored Guy 1: I do treat it very good
Me: Then is wouldn't have broke, if you didn't toss it around
Bored Guy 1: I don't toss it around
Me: Whatever Mr. 'I toss around my video game system'..... moron
Bored Guy 1: Whatever, Shut the f*** up

The example above is your first step. Create 'acute anger response'. You must raise the persons emotions a little bit. Now they have refocused there anger on what actually made them bored. The purpose of this is to generate emotion. Nothing can be exploited without emotion. Boredom dilutes emotion so we must bring a small amount of it back.

Me: Dude what would you do to have your video game system work?
Bored Guy 1: Anything
Me: Really, like Anything, Anything?
Bored Guy 1: Almost anything...
Me: Would you dive off that semi high bridge into the water?
Bored Guy 1: Only if there is a rescue boat....
Me: Focus on the task at hand... would you jump off that bridge into the water?
Bored Guy 1: I don't see why not

Two things occurred in the conversation above. With my emotion generated from my last conversation I begin to lower his inhibitions. I have translated his acute anger into 'questionable inhibitions'. Basically take anger and divide it by risk taking and you get questionable inhibitions. This all occurs in the subconscious mind. The beauty of the process is the person being exploited doesn't know its occurring. Once again I know your saying, whats the point? I am easing the person into doing something I want. Its kind of like moving slow with a female. The light guy has more a job then the performers on stage, you just don't know it.

Me: Would you jump off the side of the house into mattresses for it to work?
Bored Guy 1: Hell yeah!
Me: You would never jump off the side of the house, your a wimp [insert past example of person being a wimp]
Bored Guy 1: Whatever dude, I'd totally do it.
Me: Lets set up the mattresses

Now this part is key, we have everything in place. While you set up the dare, or wild event you must keep him motivated to do it. Encourage him with past examples of his bravery. Admit he could have beat you a couple times you wrestled. Whatever it takes, keep him motivated. Remember he hasn't actually said 'he'd do it'.

Me: Mattresses in place
Bored Guy 1: I don't know about this man
Me: Dude, your the man, you got this, think about it, its a great story
[Continue to reassure as to safety, confidence or any other concerns that arise]
Bored Guy 1: Alright man I got this
[HE JUMPS AND YOU HAVE VIDEO CAMREA]

Now you see how boredom can be exploited, you should try it on people you know. It looks easy here but it takes practice. This is a non-complex scenario, so use this as a guideline.

Homework:
Find someone bored and get them to do something very basic. Have them take YOUR trash out, or clean YOUR sink. These are fairly easy and harmless for a beginner.

"Boredom will always remain the greatest enemy of school disciplines. If we remember that children are bored, not only when they don't happen to be interested in the subject or when the teacher doesn't make it interesting, but also when certain working conditions are out of focus with their basic needs, then we can realize what a great contributor to discipline problems boredom really is. Research has shown that boredom is closely related to frustration and that the effect of too much frustration is invariably irritability, withdrawal, rebellious opposition or aggressive rejection of the whole show." - Fritz Redl author of the book 'When we deal with Children'

(The paragraphs below are best read to the song 'The Verve Pipe - Bittersweet Symphony'. Start reading below when the song hits 17 seconds in. Trust me. Try it and see what I mean, or don't and never understand.)

This guy fails to realize these rules apply to adults. However this poor guy isn't complex enough to understand adults. Defeating boredom is an adaptive science. Everyone thinks 'make it more interesting and they won't be bored'. The only true way to defeat boredom is give people an adrenaline rush.

Everyday of there life they will prepare, mentally, physically and emotionally for that adrenaline rush again. Why do you think 'near death experiences' supposedly change people. They say that there life is renewed. Its not 'near death' its that shot of adrenaline. You crave the adrenaline again, so you strive to better yourself. That way when it comes again your ready for it. You will remember better and it will be better.. at least that's what we think. Shrinks are payed to find complexities in mental problems. There not designed to find the simple answers. If you think all of that is bullshit then why am I going on my third tour overseas? If you think its for the money, patriotism, or anything else your wrong. I just want to feel adrenaline again. Can someone shoot at me please?

$50 to Wounded Warrior Fund for my first 10 followers. I will post the scanned cashed check for proof of the transaction. More followers, more donations. Its up to you!

May 31, 2009

Mental dump.. go.

End of days... leaving for Afghanistan in the coming days. Caffe Lattes, Wi Fi Hot spots, Swimming pools, perfect gyms, running tracks, video game rooms, pool tables, ping pong, blockbuster movie selection, my choice in fast food, sun bathing, and ... Air Force girls. All of this is now to be taken from me. Put in a box in the back of my head labelled "Remember when". I know I'm getting ready to leave when I become OCD about my equipment. I reconfigured my body armor, ammunition and equipment pouches again. Layed out all of my equipment and made sure I was completely ready to fight a war. Checked all the way down to how many tubes of tooth paste I have. I checked the seams on my body armoer and the inegrity of my kevlar helmet. I noticed the impermeated stains of dirt on some of the equipment I have used last tour. I saw how those stains contrasted with the new equipment I will use this tour. The edges of my gear are course, insufferable and yet totally perfect. As I ball up the last of my socks and put them into my duffel bag I sigh. I know what I'm about to embark on. I have walked these streets before. The wind blows in my face as I day dream about what I will endure.

Hot sand blowing in my face atop jagged terrain stricken with taliban. Praying for night to come to provide cover from a sniper on a ridge. Walking every inch of this terrain playing chess with the enemey. I am the pawn, he is as well. Whoever sees the other first wins this fight. This is not Iraq, it will not be easy. In Iraq the terrain is flat and manageable. Afghanistan the terrain is an unimangiable contrast of slops, and grades. No mans land as many would dare to call it. I imagine the weight on my back after a week long mission. Feeling the blisters form on my feet from being unable to stop and simply change my socks. The anguish on the face of each man walking in my squad. Every step on this land is one less then we will ever have to take again. That is however if you look for the light at the end of the tunnel. I won't see that light, I'll be to busy making sure my boys come home. Without micro managing them, but providing the right amount of freedom. Know when to yell and when to shut my mouth. Guiding there gun fire to the face of the enemey. "On my laser.." I will yell signaling them to fire at my precise choosen location. Fearing only that I will have to write a letter home to there family. That letter I avoid to describe even in my own mind. The reward is knowing that mission is complete and I'm going home. A year of mondays start soon. There is no other day in the week during a war.

I look at my weapon and touch her. Ever so gently I am to her. She is my rifle, my holy gauntlet in war. She comforts and protects me. I hold her in my arms as if they will never grow tired. She speaks volumes as her screams create fear and bestow death. However her somber appearance glistens in the evening light. To be so sweet and beautiful she is the most dangerous woman in my life. I respect and adore her. No one comes between us.

Everything said prior to this sentance makes reasonable minds make reasonable conclusions about war. Well those reasonable conclusions are for reasonable people. I however choose the latter. Concluding that war is something I am so very glad to face again War has changed my very essence. I want you to take a walk during the morning or evening. Look at the sky, the trees, grass and everything else nature created. Block out the noises and distractions created by man kind. After being in a war all natural occuring things are magnified. I appreciate the life and simply beauty of our world. War should not make me do this but thats what it took for me.

One who hasn't known me long would call me a cynic. One who has known me for a long time would call me hopeful. One who has known me for a life time would call me a realist. Saying that war will never end makes sense. Also saying that one day we will not have a need for war makes just as much sense. However a realist knows that wars, be them for good or bad... will occur as long as we as humans believe that a cause is worth dying for. The day we have no cause worth giving our greatest gift (life) for then we are living for nothing but an illusion. Plato.. your an idiot... you should have really said "Only the dead have have seen the end of true belief in a cause". However that quote doesn't sound as cliche. That however is the truth. (Before somebody hits me with "There are no politics on the battlefield" arguement, then tell me what we were talking about before we got to war)

Yuck.. now that I got all that garbage out I can put my feet back on the ground. I'm just a regular guy, what do I know. Much love from the middle east. Kuwait, Afghanistan or where ever I will be at when you read this. Take a deep breath, your back in Kansas okay Dorthy.

I will definately sleep better tonight. Blogs rule.

May 28, 2009

Oh you didn't get the memo?

"Hey theres a meeting at 1300 at the MWR"... "Hey theres a meeting 2100 at the MWR"..."Did you hear about the 0800 meeting at Starbucks"..."Its at 1700 now Captain _____ is sick"..."Its the meeting for the meeting about scrubbing the meeting roster"..."Why weren't you at the meeting, Seargent First Class ______ was asking for your input"..."You missed another meeting where were you?"..."HEY THE MEETING IS AT 2000 AT STARBUCKS.. BE THERE"..."Dude it was 1800 not 2000"..."If you hurry you can get over there"..."Captain _____ needs your numbers for personnel again, he lost them"..."CAPTAIN _______ NEEDS YOUR NUMBERS AGAIN HE LOST THEM"..."Captain ______ commented on your comments about his accountibility at the last meeting"..."We need collate copied and fascimiled to there battalions, this came from the meeting"..."At the meeting they said you have the keys to the tricons"..."Hey theres a meeting at 1300 at the MWR"

This is an accurate description of a 48 hour period of time. In this 48 hour period of time we only conducted four meetings. I attended part of one. It didn't go over very well that I was eating buffalo wings. It didn't go over very well that I attended part of one. It didn't go over very well that I don't care.

Meetings are great tools utilized by many throughout the ages. An orgranization of thought, resources and experienced minds. Through a meeting a well thought out plan can be created. A time line, utilization of resources, perpetual problems and personnel allocation occur in a meeting. You diminish, damage or destroy this ability by having multiple meetings about the same subjects in a short amount of time. If nothing has changed, why are we still talking? Lets execute our plans, please? Nope, can't do that, theres another meeting. These meetings take middle management and turn them into evil leaders. They create like minded evil in there suboordinates. Work flow is disrupted, calculated risk is increased and motivation is lost. Within these perpetual sects these employees tout tones of agression about there seinor leadership. Thus defeating the very mission the seinor leadership is undertaking. Destroying there careers and creating disgusting marks for them to explain during evaluations of there job. There 'upward approach' to there career is rounded off, never to grow again. Now another relic of the career. Self demise is poetic, unlike fight club, hitting bottom at this level often leads to non recovery. Binge drinking and loss of immediate family through agonizing court battles. Loss of respect by friends and neighboors. Inability to pay all financing charges, they stack quickly. Once the home is foreclosed upon and you have descended into your next lower class you pick up prescription medication habits. These help you sleep without guilt. You drive that 1990 toyota to your new job. You get payed less, have less and live in the broken side of town. OR YOU COULD AVOID ALL OF THIS... and stop having so many meetings.

"I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. Now we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him. " - Bob Slydell, quoted from the movie Office Space (He spoke out, got appraisial, got fired, rehired, he quit and got a new job. His character is a hero to all of us.)

"You can take your beatings on your knees or standing up; those who stood up were often killed anyway; those who were on there knees had already died." - Me, Will Rockwell

ADD THAT TO YOUR ACTION ITEM LIST...!